"Not Like Other Girls" // Poetry

I’m not like other girls.

I’m not beautiful,
Or clever,
Or talented,
Or ambitious,
Or loyal.

I don’t know how to take a compliment and I sure as hell don’t know how to give one,
I don’t know how to support other girls because all I think about is myself
I don’t know what friendship truly means because I don’t really trust anyone, not deep down
I only know how to be alone

I can’t find happiness in the simple things
Like pretty flowers
Or a new eyeshadow palette
Or a fairy-tale house
Or a sunset

I only see the rain
Never the rainbow
I only hear the individual notes
Never the symphony
I am a single black tulip among a field of beautiful, colourful blossoms
And it hurts
It hurts a lot

I used to think I didn’t feel enough
Now I know the opposite is true
I don’t feel enough about the real world, I don’t care enough about the people and things happening around me
I’m too detached from real life
It’s frightening
But I feel too much when it comes to my stories, my characters, the universe inside my head
My stories have taken over me and everything I am
And I now am no-one
I am not a girl
I am a million characters and a million fictional worlds and a million stories trapped in a human body
And there’s no escape

I'm not like other girls
But I want to be like them
I want to be a beautiful, colourful blossom 

But instead I’m a lonely, bitter black tulip

And I'm destined to walk alone.

                                                                                 

...Yeah, I have no clue either. I was in a weird mental state earlier this morning, and this happened. I know it's shitty, but I'm sharing it anyway because this is my blog and what the hell, man, I can do what I like. Comments are always appreciated. 

>>>Andrea out.

Comments

  1. Wow. That was deep. I really liked it. :)
    -Dani Jones

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  2. Ooh, that's great!! Such a deep poem :) I like it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahh thank you so much! 😊

      Delete
  3. This was so amazing, you captured emotion so well in this.

    And I hesitate to write this, because I don’t want to come off as preachy (trust me, that’s the very last thing I want to do), but as a Christian, I believe that everyone was created with a purpose. I don't believe we are destined to walk alone, and I don't believe that about you. You are honestly so funny and brilliant, you're going places and you're worth so much, and I hope you never forget that. <3

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! ❤

      And omg you're almost making me cry 😭😭❤ THANK YOU SO MUCH. I really needed this comment, you've made me so happy 😭 Don't worry, you don't sound preachy, I believe that we're all here for a reason too... I was just in a very strange mood yesterday 😊

      Delete
  4. I loved some of the pictures you painted with words here. <3 Although I feel a lot for you with feeling like this. πŸ˜”

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad you liked this 😊 Thank you ❤❤

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  5. I think I just died. Like thanks I'm crying over here. And seriously Andrea you are beautiful, talented, clever, and ambitious and all of those things.You're already crazy amazing you just have to believe it. We love you. Ok. Remember that.

    Nabila | Hot Town Cool Girl

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    Replies
    1. Oh my God thank you so much ❤❤ This comment is almost making me cry, you're so sweet 😭❤ I love you guys too, you're all so amazing ❤

      Delete
  6. OH MY WORD ANDREA. THAT WAS AN AMAZING POEM. <3 <3 <3 AND GIRL. YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. :-)

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    Replies
    1. THANK YOU SO MUCH ❤❤ This is so sweet 😭❤

      Delete
  7. Yeah, I can relate. Even though I don't necessarily feel 'ugly', I do feel kind of meh. Like, I could do things to improve my self but I feel too lazy to.

    I also find myself distant from reality as well. However, I'm also kind of distant from my stories as well.

    And I also have trust issues, though it's getting a bit better.

    I hope you can find someone you trust!

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad you can relate! I don't feel "ugly" either, I'm actually really comfortable in my own skin, but yeah, it's that feeling of "I could be better", isn't it?
      Feeling distant from reality can be so scary at times 😣 And trust issues are the worst πŸ˜”
      Thank you!! I hope you find someone you can trust soon too ❤️😊 And thanks for stopping by!

      Delete

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